They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
