oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
