You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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