tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
