Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
