even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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