STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
