Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
