She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
