Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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