Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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