I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize