you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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