how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
