I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
