I seem to have left my pride at pride
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
