I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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