I'm really into asian looking animals
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
