so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
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You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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