Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
