Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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