You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize