; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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