even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
