Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
