she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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