anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
