I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize