My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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