Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
