Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
40s are totally the cure
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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