my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize