***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
