Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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