got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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