we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
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they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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