do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
