True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
