I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
