He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize