When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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