I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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