ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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