i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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