I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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