ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
