so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
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I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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