a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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