Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
