You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
