1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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