Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize