Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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